A Rock and A Hard Place: On HARGROVE Documentary

December 31, 2022 in music

When I was a kid, I thought history was a documentation of facts told in linear and clean fashion. But as you know, no history is that simple nor one dimensional. Any story is experienced by multiple people in their own ways, who bring their own filters of attachments, insecurity, ego, and whatever else. Another thing about history is that a story told by whoever is in power, whoever has means, whoever goes first, whoever is the louder, or whoever bothers to take time is the one that sticks. I have been around a little over 30 years on the scene and mind you jazz scene is not that big but I have seen more than once that stories become history not because they are factual but somebody decided to tell them the way they want to and nobody bothered to point that out.

Which brings me to this "documentary" titled HARGROVE. I put the word in quotation because what I saw on the screen was vastly different from what I have experienced. The stories and speculation presented in the film was different from what I saw with my own eyes and experienced. I was there. Sometimes I was part of what happened. Some of what happened shaped me to be what I am today.

LOVE IS MONEY, MORE THAN EVER

August 10, 2020 in music

We love free stuff.

Once we are used to not paying for something, it’s hard to go back to paying for it. For example, nobody pays for recorded music anymore. Some people apparently are going back to vinyls but I highly doubt that the sales is anything that would make up for all the lost revenue. General public will not go back to paying for recorded music. Period.

So then. I want to know why musicians are starting to give away the one thing people are still willing to pay for: Live experience.

I know I know. There is this pandemic going on and you want to reach your audience and you understand that performance via the internet is not the same thing as live shows and you don’t feel quite right charging money for it. Even some venues are doing this for free when we need cash more than ever. I get that you want to retain the interest and you want to keep the music going but we all got to pay for things to keep anything going. Venues got to pay the rent for the spaces that are hardly being used and musicians still got to eat. Especially now. Devaluing the service is the last thing we should be doing.

I have written about how live-streaming is not the same thing as live shows and I am a bit weary of the whole thing. Yes, I still feel the same way but I can also be pragmatic when I need to be. Audience-less live streaming shows are the closest thing (although it’s really not that close… but) we have to attending live shows and I’d like to think that this is something people value.

EYE HEAR YOU, SEQUEL

April 25, 2020 in music

The Internet is a weird place. I always had the feeling but now that most of my communication with the outside world is through the internet, I’m starting to understand the nature of this animal in the way I never have before.

I had been thinking about the internet for the past 15 years in relationship to what I do: presenting live music. Many people around me always talked about live streaming but I was never convinced. Even under the best of technical circumstances, the internet fails to communicate the urgency and joy and excitement of live music, especially in jazz. My feeling has always been, why would I want to present a water-down version of what I love?

Some might argue that access to music through streaming is valuable to those who do not have access to the City. Perhaps. But even then, I’m not convinced. I have said this before many times, but listening to Roy (Hargrove) in live setting is such a distinct experience which all types of media - be it a CD, be it a video - fail to capture and communicate in its entirety. Something is always amiss when not in the live setting. There will be people out there who would think they know Roy and his music without experiencing him live and that would be incorrect. As a presenter, I don’t really want to create an opportunity for the artists I work with to be exposed to the world under less than the best light. I mean, you can make your first impression only once.

Human Nature

March 26, 2020 in music

Coronavirus pandemic and the subsequent lockdown is forcing us to be creative with the way we connect with each other. Many musicians I know are presenting live performances from their homes; presenters and venues are organizing online events that helps us to feel not so isolated. Some people think that this global pandemic will be the force that shifts the way we run things in the music business here on out. I get why one might think that but I don’t agree. I don’t agree because we are still dealing with humans and we fundamentally need what we need regardless of how the technology interacts with us.

This seeming paradigm shift and how people are buzzed, for better or worse, about it reminds me of the advent of the internet in the late 90s. All the sudden, it seemed that the internet was going to make everything better. Many of the retailers started moving things online. Many websites for job seekers popped up that gave us false impressions that better and more interesting jobs are at our fingertips regardless of our skill levels. Somehow we ignored the fact that the same jobs are now online instead of in printed media.

I remember independent artists getting excited about the internet’s ability to let you ignore the middle men and reach the fans directly. It seemed, for a second, like the internet was going to make everything a whole lot better for all the “little guys.” But I wasn’t so sure.

JUST DOING IT

January 03, 2020 in music

If you want to really get good at something, then you have to do it in front of people and be willing to fall on your face repeatedly and suffer some serious humiliation. It’s particularly true for Jazz but I think it applies to any kind of profession, be that cooking, writing (ahem), or whatever. But particularly Jazz. This is not an art form you perfect before you bring it out in the public. This is an art form that can function much like a language and “social skills” comes into play; just as you can’t rehearse and practice the art of conversation by yourself, you can’t get good at this form of communication if you don’t get out into the real world, i.e. gigs, sessions, and try it out.

Yes, it is necessary to spend hours alone to master your craft. Definitely. But that would not take you to the next level. (This is why I think the current model of Jazz funding, which is a classical model, is problematic but I’ll write about that at a later date.) You can also flip that and say this: if you are willing to put yourself out there and endure public embarrassment and truly open to learn from these experiences, you’ll get so much better so much faster. When it gets real, you really have to bring your A game and use your creativity and gust to figure it out how to do it.

time-lapse-photography-of-people-walking-on-pedestrian-lane-842339.jpg

ONENESS OF ALL

December 31, 2019 in music

I so love the moments when music melts away what separates us and let us experience this oneness with all who are present. It is such a powerful feeling and reminds me why I do what I do. I feel so lucky that I get to create/share experiences like that in my work. It doesn’t happen very often but when it does, it is tremendous.

The very last shows of 2019 at The Jazz Gallery was Gretchen Parlato’s “the stars or space between.” It was commissioned by The Jazz Gallery as part of our Fellowship program and Gretchen premiered the suite this past weekend on Friday and Saturday.

The music explores the polarity and symbiotic relationship of things that seem opposite. It was personal and honest and adventurous and incredibly beautiful. She took us on a journey which made us realize how we are all the same despite our differences. Songs sprung out of her experiences and struggles of being a new mother is the one many of us can relate to regardless of where you come from and where you stand; feeling of losing oneself and then finding oneself is what we all go through in different stages of our lives no matter what languages we speak.

At the end of the very last set, we all held our breaths and sat in complete silence for a good three seconds (which is a very long time) before the audience side of the room broke out into passionate applauds. I think we were all literally stunned by what we just experienced collectively and that we needed to come back down to earth, so to speak.

Don't Disturb This Groove

November 19, 2019 in music

I love it when an album perfectly matches my mood and the music allows me to enjoy or wallow in whatever the state I am in.

There are, however, many albums in Jazz that breaks up my mood and disrupt the activities I’m engaged in. Totally schizophrenic. I have to stop reading or driving (rather, paying attention to the road) or crying or reminiscing so that I can fast forward to where music and I are back in sync. It’s annoying. I get why some cats would do that. You want your album to have a range and you want to show the world what you are capable of. I just wish that you would do that over multiple albums and not in one disc. And I don’t mean for any album to be mono-tone but I like it when an album has a certain vibe and it manages to let me soak in it from beginning to end.

Me’Shell N’degeocello is a master of that. Her albums are totally different from one to the other and each one has a very distinct feel. I know which one to listen to when I’m happy and which one to listen to when I’m depressed.

Camaraderie

November 18, 2019 in music

I asked Google for the definition of “camaraderie” and it said: mutual trust and friendship among people who spend a lot of time together. This, to me, is one of the core values of Jazz. It is also one of my favorite things about Jazz.

In general, I don’t like making fanfares over a “special occasion.” I want things to be cool in a very understated kind of way. I also don’t like to be asked, “what’s good at The Jazz Gallery?” because everyday is special at The Gallery. Lol. At least that’s how I feel. So when Roy’s would-have-been-50th Birthday was approaching, I wasn’t going to do anything special at first. I feel that The Jazz Gallery keeps doing what it does everyday and that is the best tribute to Roy and his legacy: but then it came to me one day that there is a way to honor his memory and to celebrate him on this, after all, a special day. Jam Session! Of course. What else?

Two things come to my mind when I think of Roy. His enormous love of music and the generosity of his spirit on the bandstand. When he passed away, everyone, I mean everyone had a story of their interactions and encounters with Roy at a jam session some place in the world: NYC, Europe, Japan, Cuba, or wherever. He would go anywhere and play with anyone.

KNOW THY$ELF

June 17, 2019 in music, life

It is important that you know what your worth is.

There are a few different levels to this but right now I’m specifically speaking of your value in the marketplace. This is the value of yourself that can be translated in the dollar bills. This assessment requires a bit of objectivity (although I believe that we are not capable of objectivity but that’s a whole another post.) You need to calmly see yourself in relationships to others on the market and understand where you stand. You don’t need to be overly humble and you don’t want to overestimate. If you need an opinion of trusted (and honest and loving, I might add) friends, that might be a good idea. I can give you my assessment on the issue but I am known to be too honest and it’s not recommended for everyone. Lol.

Another thing you need to know is when to/when not to ask to have your full value paid in cash money. There are times that it makes sense for you to take the gig despite that sad bread. It is good for you to know that certain gigs bring you other benefits (and this type of situation usually calls for your long-game thinking) that outweighs an immediate cash money. In these situations, it pays for you to graciously do the gig and not make any fuss about money. In the long run. Again, I can help you if you are not sure.

OWN IT

May 22, 2019 in life, music

The truth is nobody owes you anything.

Nobody has to eat your food. Nobody has to wear your clothes. Nobody has to read your books. And nobody has to listen to your music. We are all doing what we are doing because we want to. It’s kinda important for us to really realize that, especially if we want to be eaten/read/listened/appreciated.

I sometimes read artists gripe about their lives in social media. I’m okay with casual venting in passing. I think we all do that and it’s nice to know that we are not alone in suffering some dumb human stuff; it’s comforting to know that the best of us struggle and that we have so much in common. It is, after all, not easy being artists for living.

What I find puzzling is when the posts are bitter and they are framed in ways that somehow everything bad/hard/out of control is everyone else’s fault: somehow the hardships are bestowed upon them without their consent and they are unjust. I’m like, really? I haven’t met any musicians whose arms were twisted to play jazz. It’s your choice. Nobody asked you to and nobody forced you to. You wanted to do it. So then you got to own the fact that you wanted it. Hardship and all. And you have to embrace it all. You can’t freely choose your own profession (being an artist at that!) and then complain when things do not go the way you want them to go. That is just counter productive.

IT'S NOT YOU. IT'S....

April 02, 2019 in music

The process of grant application seems to be a mysterious one for many jazz musicians.

While I can’t help you with the process itself, I thought maybe I can help you understand how these things are done and what goes on behind the closed door and how best to approach it. It might not help with producing the result you desire (you’ll see why as you read on) but it will hopefully take some stress out of it.

I have sat on a number of grant adjudication panels at this point. When I was asked to do so for the very first time maybe about 10 years ago, I was really scared and nervous. I felt like I didn’t know enough and I didn’t have enough experience and I wasn’t expert enough. On that particular panel, it turned out that I knew more than anyone else in the room; not only about the music itself but also about budgeting and other logistical stuff. I also felt that I listened better than others in the room. After all, that’s what I do for living. And I thought to myself, “WTF.” I had been doing what I’m doing long enough to know that I didn’t know much and I needed to know more. I realized during that panel meeting that I am an expert in the field not because I have expert knowledge but mostly by comparison.

I was hoping that this is not the norm.

Youth Is Wasted On Youth

February 04, 2019 in life, music

One of the most amazing things about being in NYC, if you are a jazz musician of sort, is that the biggest cats are down to hang and play with you if they are free and feel like it. This does not happen in any other city in the world. Not that I know of. But I’m pretty sure NYC is special like that.

So then, I don’t get it when young cats play only with the people they know. Over and over. Why? Some young musicians decline gigs when I offer them one because their band members are not available. What? You play jazz, no? You can’t go with the flow? Why not call people whom you admire? Why not get together with them and get your ass kicked? Learn a thing or two or ten. It’s good for you. We have a saying in Japan, “You should seek hardships even if you have to pay for it.” I don’t know if that’s a good translation but you get the idea. Humble pies are good for you.

One of the blessings of my youth (I wasn’t that young, lol, but I was young at the business) was that when I started helping out around The Jazz Gallery in 2000, there was a lot of room for errors. For different reasons. The Jazz Gallery wasn’t what it is and Dale (Fitzgerald) was totally ok with me making dumb mistakes and learn from them. So I did. I mean, I didn’t know that that was what was happening at that time. It was more like the case of, “ignorance is bliss.” I had ideas galore and I wanted to try and do all kinds of things. Some worked and some didn’t. And because The Jazz Gallery itself was still at the stage of figuring itself out, I was able to experiment and explore and then define my voice and grew into the Artistic Director that I am today. By doing and making many many mistakes. I grew up with The Jazz Gallery. My trials and errors made The Gallery what it is. I was given a rather safe place to fall on my face and get up and do it, again. Yes, I had to get up quickly and eat plenty of humbles pies but I think I took like a champ. Lol.

Sophisticated Blah

January 25, 2019 in life, music

Music is a means to an end.

Music itself is not the goal. You have something you’d like to communicate to other humans and you choose to do so with music. You compose not to show off your skills on your instrument nor to exhibit your knowledge of some indigenous musical traditions nor to make yourself look deep. No. None of that. I mean, these behaviors do tell me a lot about who you are and how you go through life and I suppose that is informative but that is not the type of information I’m looking for.

Let me put it this way. Having perfect English grammar does not make you a poet. It’s you and your point of view that make you a poet. To read your poetry is to see the world through a filter that is you. Distilment of your essence is what makes poetry. Giving shapes to wordless things in your own way is what resonates in us when we read good poetry. Good grammar is helpful but not essential in the art form and in communicating through poetry.

I think the same goes for music. It’s not your knowledge of harmony nor dexterity on the instrument that I want to hear. I mean these things can be fun for a minute but they get old real quick. I want to hear you. What are you thinking? What are you feeling? What does the world look/feel/taste/smell like through you? That’s what I want to hear. Tell me about you. Tell me about how you process the world. Not about what you can do. Not about what you know.

A Natural Element Called Roy

December 30, 2018 in music, life

A few people asked me to write about Roy Hargrove. Almost immediately after his death. It is difficult to write about another person even if I’ve known him for a long long time. I was also in deep shock that I was so shocked at his passing. I always kind of thought that he’d outlive everyone despite the serious illness. I couldn’t believe that I can’t argue with him anymore nor will never get to forget about the fight after hearing him play one note. I was stunned. I cried so hard at the news that I had to catch my breath. It was a bodyblow I was not expecting.

A lot of people already have written about Roy's music in online media. For about a week, Roy was everywhere every time I opened my computer: About the conversations people had with Roy; Brief yet immensely memorable interactions; Notes that he played. I thought to myself, wow, Roy was loved by many but then the next moment I had this feeling, like I just realized I didn’t button my shirt correctly. Roy didn’t really have a friend and he was always lonesome.

Eye Hear You

December 17, 2018 in music

Going to live music events is multi-sensory experience.

I enjoy concerts where everything make sense and everything goes together. I like it when the venue and music match. I like it when lighting heighten the moods. I like it when musicians on the stage put some thoughts into their outfits and their presentation. I appreciate it when I can tell that cats on the stage know that I, we, the audience is there and we matter to them. I enjoy the way music vibrates not only my eardrums but also my entire being. I like the overall thoughtfulness.

This, unfortunately, does not happen very often in jazz. Musicians work hard on music. They practice tirelessly to perfect their crafts and spend hours putting music together painstakingly. Yet, somehow, everything else is neglected. Some argue that nothing should matter but music. I feel you but I don’t necessarily agree. I think it is important for cats to understand that how you serve up what you are cooking really matters and can make a huge difference in audience’s experience and in turn, yours. And you are artists. Why limit yourself to just music when expressing whatever it is that you want to express. Yes, your speciality is music but your creativity can take many forms.

A Guardian of Being a.k.a. Roy Hargrove

November 09, 2018 in life, music

Roy was a guardian of being.

Just like flowers, trees, winds, and a puppy. He said, “Universe is moving right on time with us. So move on.” He was always in the moment. All he dealt with was here and now.

It sounds wonderful but it is hard to go through life in that way when everyone else around him wanted more than that moment. People wanted friendship, association, love, relationships, hoping for a bit of crumbs in any shape or form… which created the need for past and future; which created necessity for remembering and planning. Roy was not that person. He was always only in the moment. Hard and sincerely. In that moment, he meant everything he did; he meant every words he said; he felt everything he felt. There was no lie or deception in that. But because the rest of us don’t know how to deal with that truness of being, he had to lie and deceive and manipulate, so that he can somewhat sustain a facade of being a human and move through this world in flesh.

I Am Only A Person

October 31, 2018 in music, life

I am not a gig booking machine.

There are people who only talk about wanting to play at The Jazz Gallery every time I see them. Put yourself in my shoes. What do you think you’d do. Wouldn’t you want to avoid yourself? You can argue that it’s my job and I should suck it up. Perhaps. But I am telling you that it won’t serve you and your purpose well if you keep pushing your agendas only.

I’m only a human-being after all.

You Got To Be The Star

October 19, 2018 in music, life

Over the years I have received thousands and thousands of emails from young musicians who want to perform at The Jazz Gallery. First of all, thank you. I feel really honored and humbled to have been asked. Each time. Because without cats, we are nothing.

Secondly, I want to talk about how you should think about yourself as the star of whatever you are doing.

Many of the emails try to get my attention by saying, “I will have Ambrose Akinmusire in my group if I get a gig,” “This is the CD release for the album I recorded with Larry Grenadier, Kurt Rosenwinkel, and Mark Turner,” or “I have performed with Vijay Iyer.” And I have many things to say about that type of approach. Lol.

How Do You Like It?

October 17, 2018 in music

As the technologies develop and have become readily available to us, independent artists have more decisions to make. As if you are not doing enough already. When you are a freelancer, (and this goes for any type of freelance gigs) 90% of the job is cumbersome tasks one must to do in order to make the last 10% possible, which is the fun part. In musicians’ cases this 10% consists of practicing, composing, performing, and any other activities that actually bring you joy.

Up until recently, CD has been the medium of choice if you want to disseminate your music. Before that, cassette and records (or vinyls as young people call them now, lol) were what we dealt with. These hardware created time restrictions. They can only contain so much information. This made it a standard practice for musicians to distribute their music/ideas in an album format. Each album contains certain numbers of songs/tunes and the whole thing has an overarching title and theme.

Can We Sell This?

October 13, 2018 in music

How can we engage more audience?

It is the eternal question for non-profit performing arts presenters and practitioners. I have been asked this question many times at various conferences, meetings, grant adjudications, masterclass, etc. My answer is always the same.

Early arts education is the only true marketing for Jazz and creative music.

I grew up in Japan where (at least when I was there) there was no such thing as elective in arts classes until you were a senior in highschool. Until then, every student had to partake in all kinds of arts activities whether you like it or not. In first and second grades, everyone had to play diatonic harmonica and play simple songs in the key of C. This involves many skills. You have to know how to get around a harmonica. You have to be able to read simple music in 4/4. You have to have hand-eye coordination. You have to be able to count. You have to do all of the above all at once. In 3rd through 6th grades, students switch to the soprano recorder. Then you’ll move onto the alto recorder in 7th grade. And so on and so forth. Simultaneously, many students in Japan are required to participate in some sort of choir activities. We love choirs. Lol.

I realized that I have a lot to say (I know some of you are laughing at this statement....) and I do like saying them so I thought I'd start a blog.

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