When I was a kid, I thought history was a documentation of facts told in a linear and clean fashion. But as you know, no history is that simple nor one dimensional. Any story is experienced by multiple people in their own ways, who bring their own filters of attachments, insecurity, ego, and whatever else. Another thing about history is that a story told by whoever is in power, whoever has means, whoever goes first, whoever is the loudest, or whoever bothers to take time is the one that sticks. I have been around a little over 30 years on the scene and mind you jazz scene is not that big but I have seen more than once that stories became history not because they are factual but somebody decided to tell them the way they want to and nobody bothered to point that out.
Which brings me to this "documentary" titled HARGROVE. I put the word in quotation because what I saw on the screen was vastly different from what I have experienced. The stories and speculation presented in the film was different from what I saw with my own eyes and what I personally experienced. I was there. Sometimes I was part of what happened. Some of what happened shaped me to be what I am today.
As I discussed in one of my previous posts, which was my obituary of sorts to Roy, he was, as we say, a different kind of cat. Special. For better or for worse. Incredibly gifted and bright yet so terrible at life. He was a part of a rare tribe which, in my mind, includes the likes of Baquiat and Jimi Hendrix. I don't know if their biopics are accurate descriptions of them or their lives but if so, Roy was quite like them. Both Basquiat's life and Jimi’s life on screen, told by whoever decided to tell those stories, reminded me of Roy’s that it made my heart pang. Brilliant, charismatic, self-destructive, and utterly lonely. Roy loved women and couldn't help himself. His talent and fame isolated him and he made not so great choices. It sounds so cliche and this was what made Roy a human.
Dale Fitzgerald, who founded The Jazz Galley and to whom I owe my life (because I wouldn’t have this life in music if it weren’t for Dale and without this life in music, I don’t know if I would have become me fully in the ways I am) was also Roy's business manager along with Larry Clothier (a.k.a. Ragman) who was Dale’s friend and business partner. Dale and Larry met Roy when he was still in highschool and the team began working with Roy shortly after.
Dale and Larry LOVED Roy. And Roy them. This, I know.
Dale and Larry had different ideas about how to support Roy function in the world. Dale was more idealistic and hopeful as he always was about everything. Dale thought Roy can grow up, change his habits, and do better in other areas of his life that are unrelated to music. Larry, who is a seasoned veteran (he was a manager to Carmen McRae among others) in the business and came to know Roy quite well thought otherwise. Dale tried to teach Roy basic life skills like balancing checkbooks, paying bills, feeding himself properly, doing dishes, and washing his clothes. Larry knew that Dale's effort would be in vain but he let Dale try. Dale took care of Roy on the home front and Larry traveled with Roy. In the end, Roy was so disastrous in life that Dale ended up taking care of Roy's every needs. Roy didn't know how to do anything aside from being this incredible artist. I’m kind of in awe of Roy for living his life doing only what he wanted to do. That’s the dream for many yet a few manage that.
Until I had my first child of my own in 2005, I lived in close proximity to The Jazz Gallery, Dale, and Roy. I started helping around at The Jazz Gallery in 2000, working for Dale and because The Jazz Gallery’s space initially was used as Roy’s rehearsal space and Dale was Roy’s manager, I got to spend quite a bit of time with both Dale and Roy. Dale often didn’t have time to properly take care of The Jazz Gallery because he had to do everything for Roy. I suppose that was one of the reasons why Dale had to trust me with the Gallery and I have Roy to thank for my life in music as well. Lol.
Once, Roy was arrested and in jail for trying to score some weed from an undercover officer in Washington Square Park. Apparently he couldn’t reach his usual hook-ups and he thought he could do this like everyone else. Wrong. Dale was beside himself and I remember him making calls furiously trying to get him out of the jail because Roy needed to make an appointment for dialysis and he needed to take his medication. Roy would always get into this kind of trouble when he stayed in NYC too long and left to his own device.
Roy didn’t care that he was on dialysis. He continued to drink and smoke and do whatever. Dale will call him every 30 minutes to remind him about his dialysis appointment. He would make arrangements for Roy to receive dialysis on the road. I would imagine trying to coordinate tours with dialysis centers in mind made Dale and Larry’s life very complicated. Roy didn’t care and he would casually skip any appointments he didn’t feel like making. (And complain about how terrible he felt….) It was miraculous that he didn’t succumb sooner to this condition and complications that could have been caused by it.
If you have ever seen him perform and heard him live, though, I think you understand when I say that music kept him alive much longer than humanly possible. Music kept him. Even when he was really weak, he would surprise us with a performance that lifted the room once on stage. I have witnessed this many times. At one point, his kidney deterioration affected his oral health and he had to get a denture. I thought he was done. Nope. He learned to perform with the denture and he played. Really played. I think a regular person would think at some point, “Oh, I should take care of myself better so that I can keep playing.” Not Roy. Roy was not a regular person, whatever that means. He continued to live like he was a healthy kid. Roy was stubborn and he would not do anything he didn’t want to do and since he was a grown man, there was only so much that people around him could do. You can’t help a person who doesn’t want to be helped.
Dale and Larry LOVED Roy and they knew that to keep Roy alive and somewhat happy, they needed to keep him on stage performing. Stage was where Roy thrived despite the physical condition he was in and that was where miracles continued to happen. I know it sounds corny and whatever but I think any person who was somewhat close to Roy knew this to be true. Music was keeping Roy alive. Roy needed to be on stage. Roy needed to keep playing. Music gave him something that no medicine could.
In the film, an accusation is made that Larry (and Dale by association) drugged him and exploited him. NO. Larry (and Dale) supported Roy the best way they knew how. Larry and Dale were in between a rock and a hard place. They have sent Roy to rehab more than a few times. That did nothing. If Roy was left alone in the city, he went and got arrested trying to buy weed. These are just a few examples of situations Roy got himself into. Roy got into many many situations.
What would you do if you were them? Roy is this impossibly talented and special person with such incredible light as well as a dark abyss that you would not even dare stare into. Even when he could barely walk, he would find such joy and beauty on stage, not only for himself but for us all. Will you take that away from him and force him to go through rehab over and over and over until the end of time because a person on drugs can’t possibly be well and happy? Would you drag him to a dialysis clinic and tie him to bed when he refuses to go? Or would you recognize Roy for what/who he was and let him shine and do whatever necessary to facilitate that? Will you meet Roy where he was and support him unconditionally? Larry and Dale didn’t come to this place lightly. They started out thinking Roy is this regular person. They wanted him off the drugs and get healthy so they provided the means. Dale thought Roy could do better. Roy was not that person. Roy was Roy and that was that. It was like Roy could not fit into the container he was given and it kept malfunctioning. People who were close to him picked up the slack and patched him up the best we could. We loved and cared for him the best way we knew how. Roy was difficult and beautiful and extraordinary. Our usual and conventional wisdom didn’t apply to someone like that.
I know Larry. He is not the nicest person and rough around the edge but he has a good heart and he loved Roy. He’s not always pleasant and often misunderstood. His management style is a bit odd if you ask me but I’m sure people would say that about how I work, too. So whatever. I know many people got beef with him for any number of reasons. But he didn’t deserve that film. Speculations and accusations presented in the film lacked understanding of the complexities that was Roy. Dale, along with Larry, did his best to protect Roy and also made sure that Roy’s daughter was taken care of. Dale had a rich and full life but when he passed away in 2015, he pretty much owned the clothes on his back and not much else. Nobody was working with Roy to get rich.
Road-managing Roy is an extremely difficult task and frankly Larry was the only one who was up for it. Larry was in between a rock and a hard place. Because Larry took on that task, many of us were fortunate enough to be in the presence of such joy and beauty when Roy stepped on the stages around the world. And for as long as he did. Aforementioned giants who remind me of Roy, Basquiat and Jimi, were both lost at the age of 28; they didn’t have their own Larry. They didn’t have a person who was willing to be a bad guy to protect them. Roy made it to almost 50 and we got to be around that greatness as long as we did because Larry understood what it meant to take care of Roy. And for that, I’m thankful.