We all know that manifesting is a thing. A real thing. What can be tricky is to have a deep clarity on what it is that you wish to manifest.
For a long time, I thought to myself, “well, I think I’m getting good at manifesting stuff. My work is great. I always have enough money (although I need to work in abundance more…. I seem to have a mental block on this one) and I have great friends and am part of an amazing community. But love? Romantic stuff? That part confounded me. I meditated, imagining myself being in my own ideal relationship. For a few years I did this. But from one situation to another, nothing or rather nobody materialized and I somehow thought that my childhood f^&(ed me up so good that I’m attracted to bad situations and there is no fixing it.
Then I had an epiphany of sorts: I was getting exactly what I was asking for.
A dear friend pointed out to me my propensity for freedom and independence: how I like shiny new things and I wanted to explore what’s out there. It seems that I did want a partner in crime yet at the same time the pull for this playground was much stronger. But for some reason, I didn’t have clarity on it. I don’t really know why this was. Maybe the loneliness (compounded by the Covid) was getting to me that I thought I wanted to be in a committed relationship. Maybe it was just a reflex that is the result of my upbringing and being in this society. Like we are supposed to want a partner and be with a partner and being alone meant that there was something odd about you. Whatever it was, somehow I managed to lie to myself and I didn’t even know it. My friend was right. I was manifesting EVERYTHING. It was just that I was confused about what my soul truly desired.
So I meditated and I grappled with myself and I got clear on what I wanted. I do want to have a partner in crime, so to speak, but only if he is exactly what I want. I didn’t worry that what I desired was unrealistic. I didn’t put any compromises on my “wish list.” What I did was I got really clear on what I wanted and I made sure that what I wanted to manifest was in alignment with everything that I am on different levels; that my soul and my ego and everything else were in agreement. And guess what? This person appeared out of, what seemed like, a thin air.
I realized that there are levels to wanting. Sometimes you want something because that seems like the norm. Sometimes because that’s what all your friends got. Sometimes, what you want seems downright weird and crazy. But your heart has a way of being honest with the Universe. Our ego can do so much to lie to our souls and disguise your desire to the source.
If you are not manifesting what you think you want, it will probably do you good to take a pause and really be honest with yourself and get clarity on the matter. Once you do, once you (I guess this will be your ego?) and your heart and the universe are aligned, you can truly have whatever you want. Nothing is too much and nothing is too crazy. As my intuitive friend eloquently put it, “B*%&$!! You can have whatever the f*$( you want!!”