It’s impossible to have 100% consensus on anything, especially when it comes to other people’s opinion of what you are/are not doing.
It’s hard not to pay attention to things online, like Facebook or Twitter or whatever, when someone has bad things to say about you and what you are doing. I immediately go to the place of serious self-doubt and total loss of confidence. I start questioning every professional decision I have ever made and not sure about the program I put together for the next month. It’s incredible that after 20 years of doing what I do, I still feel so unsure and insecure that one negative comment can send me to that place.
The thing is, if you are doing something visibly, people will have an opinion about it and there is nothing you can do about that. And the more productive and successful you are, the louder the noise. I have seen it happen to cats I know and it has happened to me, as well. When it happens to others, it’s easy to have a healthy perspective and brush it off: one time, I sent one of my closest friends a t-shirt saying, “Haters Gonna Hate,” cause you know, they do. He was really hurt by conjectures and assumptions and misunderstandings that were brewing on the World Wide Web. My friend’s success drew so much of the kind of attention he didn’t want. It was easy for me to say to him, “oh don’t worry about it. They are just jealous and insecure and they have no idea how hard you work.” Only if I can tell myself that. lol.
It has been my observation that people who are quick to criticize anyone in the most public and harsh manner have no idea what it takes to make something of oneself. I often feel like a duck gliding on the pond. I look like I’m gliding but my fins are furiously moving beneath the surface. Everything I do (professionally) is done in the way for good reasons: my approaches come from years of experience (translation = I fell on my face more times than I care to recall in the most hideous manner, which taught me some valuable lessons.) and I do not do things carelessly, even when it seems like I’m casual about it. I care too much about my work to be like whatever. Just because I make it look easy (that’s what I have been told, lol) that doesn’t mean it’s easy. And my guess is that it is the same for all the people who are doing something, you know? Just because someone does not agree with my methods, that does not mean I’m callous, thoughtless, or stupid. Nobody knows others’ struggle behind the closed door. Haven’t we watched enough biopics to know this already? Lol.
It’s hard to be confident. It is also hard to know the line between confidence and arrogance. I think many of us are afraid to be perceived as an a******. We sometimes feel like we should accommodate to make others feel more comfortable. But we have to remember that we are not doing the work we do to make others feel comfortable; I think it’s often the opposite of that. Hard work and diligence will build confidence and I believe that true confidence begets humility. To be certain of what you can do and be certain about your ability takes years of doing and in that process, it is natural for anyone to develop humility out of respect for the work. It has been my experience that the most accomplished are the nicest and the most humble. It’s us in the middle with insecurity and fear that exhibits a****** tendencies. You know?
Haters are going to hate and doers are gonna keep doing. The distance between these two is only going to widen. The work you do and the process you go through will bring you the kind of peace and confidence that cannot be easily shaken by casual observants. The knowing that can only come from actions. So shut out the noise and focus on the work that brings joy to you. It will be alright. More than alright. Keep doing what you do. And this is mostly what I tell myself. Everyday.